Your Teacher is the Algorithm

Forget voting booths. Forget campaign speeches. Your actual rulers are faceless nerds tweaking dials in server rooms, deciding what’s “safe” for you to say, watch, or even think. The Constitution? Outdated. The Bill of Rights? Cute bedtime story. What actually governs you now is a shifting Terms of Service nobody reads but everyone obeys.

A sitting president got deplatformed overnight. Meanwhile, scammers selling fake crypto accounts are still thriving.

Congress needs committees, hearings, endless speeches. Twitter (sorry, X, whatever) needs 0.3 seconds to vaporize your account because you posted the wrong meme. Justice system: 200 years of precedent. Algorithm: “nah, doesn’t vibe, DELETE.”

That “appeal” button? It might as well say ‘cry now.’

Nipple slips get flagged in seconds, but violence lingers for days because advertisers don’t complain about those as much.

Your rights aren’t decided by courts anymore. They’re decided by a 24 year old “trust & safety” intern who drank too much cold brew and decided your tone was “dangerous.” No due process. No jury. Just vibes, bots, and quarterly ad revenue.

You don’t get lawyers. You get a pop up.

Textbooks still preach “three branches of government.” Meanwhile, kids are grinding TikTok’s For You Page like it’s survival training. Who gets visibility? Who gets buried? That’s the real civics class now. The curriculum updates every week, depending on which advertisers got spooked.

Your kid can’t tell you what the Senate does, but they know exactly which hashtags to avoid if they want their account to live.

Governments fine you after years of litigation. Algorithms bankrupt you in minutes by demonetizing your channel.

You didn’t get a ballot. You didn’t get a campaign promise. You got a 47 page Terms of Service dropped at 2 a.m. You don’t even know what rules you broke until your digital landlord locks you out of your own life.

And governments? They’re outsourcing to the same platforms. Shadowbans = new laws. Push alerts = propaganda. The merger’s already here.

Judges write opinions. Algorithms don’t even give you a rejection letter just silence.

We laughed at Orwell. We memed Big Brother. But Big Brother didn’t kick down the door. He slid into your DMs with Update Available and you hit “Accept” without reading.

Now you don’t live in a democracy. You rent space in a glitchy content moderation panel run by trillion dollar companies who think you’re worth less than a banner ad.

The most dangerous part? You don’t even need to get banned. You ban yourself in your head, trimming every sentence so the algorithm doesn’t slap you.

So, welcome to 8th grade civics, 2050 edition. Congress doesn’t matter, but TikTok’s For You Page does. Freedom of speech now depends on whether people watch your video for more than 7 seconds before scrolling.

Thank You Note
As always, thank you so much for liking, following, sharing, and subscribing. Your support means more than you fucking know.

If you know someone who needs a hand with getting there platforms off the ground, send them my way, I’d love to collaborate or just offer a boost. We need to work together, differences aside. Honestly, helping others has gotten me further in life than anything else I’ve tried.

I don’t agree with everyone’s views, but if you reached out for help, I’d show up. It’s not hard to be kind.

Remember: it’s us vs. the glitchy lizard kings. 🖤